THE CENTERPIECE
September, 2005
The newsletter of the
Pittsburgh Lutheran Center for the Blind
535 North Neville Street
Pittsburgh, Pa 15213
PHONE: 412 682-1800
Bob Mates, Director
Sherri Crum, Associate Director
The Pittsburgh Lutheran Center for the Blind seeks to reach out to the visually
impaired of Pittsburgh, feeling their needs, and touching them with the love of
Jesus, that they may reach out and touch others with the love of Jesus.
THE CENTERPIECE is available in Braille, large print, and on cassette tape.
You may also read it online, at our web site:www.plcb@firsttrinity.net.
Terri Watson Editor From The Editor
As those of you who have school-age children, grandchildren, nieces or
nephews know, September is the month by which everyone has returned to school.
If you know a child who is going into kindergarten, one of the many
firsts that child will be learning is the alphabet.
Having said that, however, there's no doubt that the youngster will not
be learning the alphabet which I will be sharing with you in this month's
column, and that's because, what I will be sharing is from a uniquely Christian
perspective.
After you read this, if you like this Christ-filled and Christ-centered
alphabet as much as I do, pass it on to others whose hearts, minds and souls you
feel it will also touch:
Although things are not perfect Because of trial or pain Continue in
thanksgiving Do not begin to blame Even when the times are hard Fierce winds are
bound to blow God is forever able Hold on to what you know Imagine life without
His love Joy would cease to be Keep thanking Him for all the things Love imparts
to thee Move out of "Camp Complaining" No weapon that is known On
earth can yield the power Praise can do alone Quit looking at the future Redeem
the time at hand Start every day with worship To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming Victorious in the sky We'll run the race with gratitude
Exalting God most high Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad,
b... Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
Before letting you know how you can submit suggestions for this column, I first
want to say what an enjoyable summer I hope each of you had. Despite the
many days when we had temperatures over 90, made even more oppressive by
excessive humidity, I hope God still blest you abundantly with the ability and
the energy to do everything you wanted to do. I know I did what I most
wanted to do, which was to marry Jim Winaught, one of God's greatest blessings.
If you have an idea for this column, please don't hesitate to contact
Lutheran Center Director Bob Mates, either by calling him at 412-682-1800 or by
e-mailing him at bluesbob at earthlinkddnet.
MAY's MEAL
As they always are, both the food and the fellowship were wonderful at
the May 21st meal.
The Lutheran Center volunteers, along with young ladies from Abraxis, did
a commendable job preparing, serving, and cleaning up from a variety of
picnic-style foods.
After the meal, Bob Mates thanked everyone not only for being at May's
meal but also for supporting this ministry throughout the year. As he
always does excellently, our dedicated director also presented an insightful
devotion and prayed for the intentions offered by meal attendees.
Before Pastor Spittel capably led an inspirational Vespers service, Terri
Winaught (then still Terri Watson), sang "God's Amazing Grace," a hymn
based on the more familiar, "Amazing Grace."
A final note about monthly meals in general is that Bob Mates and the
planning committee have made some changes which they feel and hope will be for
the better, one of which is to have planned the menu for the entire year.
I am concluding this column, therefore, with those changes:
1. Meal attendance is on a "reservation" basis, with all
reservations made six P.M., on the Thursday before the meal.
2. If you must cancel, you must do it by 2 P.M., on the day of the meal.
3. If you do not cancel, and do not show up, you will be warned.
After three warnings, you will be barred from attending future meals.
4. NEW!!! We are limiting attendance to twenty-five people, so you are
strongly encouraged to sign up early!
5. NEW!!! Once we reach our capacity, we will close out the reservations.
However, anyone who signs up after that will be put on a "stand-by"
list. If there are cancellations, people on this "stand-by" list
will be called, in the order of their signing up. They will be given the
opportunity to attend the meal. Of course, they are responsible for making
their own arrangements to get to and from the center.
6. Guests, who are not blind, are not encouraged. With our limited
capacity, every sighted guest means that a blind person may not get a seat.
REMEMBER: THIS IS A MINISTRY TO THE BLIND!!!
We hope you will understand the need for strict enforcement of our seating
rules. We want everyone, both the blind folks and the sighted volunteers,
to be comfortable. To achieve this, we have to make sure there's enough
room for everybody.
Of course, we recommend that you sign up early, to ensure yourself a seat.
However, even if you can't get in, and are put on the "stand-by" list,
you should make arrangements to come anyway. Cancellations occur pretty
regularly, and you may still be able to go. If not, you can always cancel
your arrangements. Be assured that you'll be notified in plenty of time.
Now, to make it easier for you to choose which meals you would like to attend,
here's the menu of main courses. We think this is a great line-up.
Hope to see you at the meals.
September: Sweet meat loaf
October: Pork and Sauerkraut
November: Beef Roast
December: Ham
January: Lasagna
February: Guest Chefs, Eugene and Norma Jean Rossi
March: Fish and Chicken
April: Krafty Lasagna
May, picnic.
Those sound like some pretty yummy meals that I'm really looking forward
to. I also thank our dear Lord and savior for the dedicated hands that
will so capably prepare all of that food, and the loving spirit with which they
will do it.
CONTRIBUTOR's CORNER
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH
by Kathy Susany
The editor of this column is so capable that she can--and has--written
everything from a ban the sweeper movement from a cat's perspective to articles
about how problems with our blood can affect us.
With natural disasters--especially floods and hurricanes having been so
much in the news, that will be Kathy's topic this month. What will she
say? Well, let's sit back, relax, and learn from Kathy Susany's veritable
smorgasbord of wisdom.
The book of Genesis tells us that God created the heaven and the earth. We
awe in wonder at the beauty of the sun, moon, and stars. We appreciate the
majesty of the Grand Canyon, the fragrance of a rose, and the soft touch of a
gentle breeze as it blows on us. We enjoy the sounds made by chirping
birds, leaves rustling through the trees, and ocean waves pounding against the
shore. We marvel at the vast diversity and inner workings of living
things. Yes, Mother Nature can be truly wonderful. However, nature
has a dark side--a sinister aspect--as well. In my series called Operation
Microbial Freedom, I explained how our immune system protects us against
invading micro-organisms. There are other natural forces that can cause
devastation as well. In the past several years, we have witnessed nature's
fury and wrath. Nature's negative side has caused much loss of life and
property damage through the years. Some recent examples of such natural
disasters have included last year's tsunami in the Indian Ocean, the floods
resulting from the remnants of hurricane Ivan, and, now, the devastating
aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. We get our share of thunderstorms every
year; every so often, we even experience such weather phenomena as tornados and
microbursts. Such acts of God show us just how savage nature can be.
In this article, my intention is to outline some safety tips that can help you
get through such ravages; I will also share some of my experiences as an evacuee
some years ago.
I will concentrate my discourse on thunderstorms, tornadoes, and floods.
Firstly, here are some things to keep in mind for all disasters, whether or not
they are natural. Keep an ear tuned to the latest news. You will be
informed of any advisories, watches, or warnings that may be issued. You
will be told if it is advisable to evacuate the area, or if there are any other
precautions that should be taken. It is wise to heed such advice; you may
save yourself a lot of grief later. A watch means that conditions are
right for a storm, tornado, flood, or whatever, to occur. A warning means
that either the event is happening now, or that it is about to occur in the
area. Warnings are a serious matter; if a warning is issued, follow
whatever instructions are given on the news or by local authorities.
Watches may be upgraded to warnings at any time. You might also wish to
buy a special radio tuned to weather station KIH35. These radios may sound
an alarm when severe weather is approaching or happening. Some regular
commercial radios have a "weather band" as well. If the power
goes out, it is prudent to have a portable radio and fresh batteries on hand.
Let us turn our attention to thunderstorms. They can occur at any
time of the year, but are most common in the summer. They are created in
unstable air masses; they may also pop up during the latter part of the day due
to heating of the atmosphere. Brief thundershowers can happen at just
about any time during a warm, humid spell. Such storms can be accompanied
by heavy downpours, lightning, strong, gusty winds, and hail. Den a storm
is threatening, take cover inside the nearest sturdy structure, preferably away
from windows. Ideally, you should also turn off major appliances, and do
not use the phone. (I must admit, I do not always follow these last two
recommendations.) If there is no shelter available, lie low if possible.
The most significant danger to consider during a thunderstorm is lightning; you
can tell there's lightning when thunder sounds. It always follows
lightning. Therefore, don't make yourself the tallest thing in the area;
you're just asking for trouble. N or is it a good idea to go under a tree
during a thunderstorm. Trees might protect you against the rain, but, if
lightning strikes your tree, it may be good-bye you. If all else fails,
get under an overpass or, interestingly enough, stand under a high-tension
electric line. Yes, I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but high-voltage
lines are designed with lightning strikes in mind, so you'll be protected.
Tornadoes can accompany, or are spawned by, storms. They are
funnel-shaped clouds inside of which are winds that swirl very fast--over a
hundred miles an hour. The winds swirl in a circular manner, unlike
microbursts whose winds move straight down and outward. Tornadoes come up
quickly and move fast through a small area; therefore, if a tornado warning
issued, you must take cover very fast. You won't have time to dilly-dally,
so get to the lowest point in a structure, such as a basement. Stay away
from doors and windows. If the building, or whatever, does not have a
basement, proceed to the bathroom at once. Besides the basement, the
bathroom is the sturdiest part of the house because of all the water pipes, etc.
Floods result from heavy rain or snow; they also come about when rivers,
streams, or creeks rise for any reason. About the only thing I have to say
about them is: please do not drive or walk through a flooded area--not that we,
as blind people, would be apt to drive. As the saying goes, still waters
can run deep, and you don't know what's there under all that water. Since
water conducts electricity, if there happens to be downed power lines, you might
get the shock of your life--or death. Then, again, you could also be
drowned. If it is suggested that you move to higher ground, then, by all
means, do so; don't be a hold-out. You may lose your life or get swept
away by the raging torrents.
In closing this column, I would like to recount an experience I had some
twenty-o. years ago. I am reminded of a song whose lyrics went, in
part, Sally had a party A groovy groovy party Everyone was there It was quite an
affair When Sally had a party.
As it happens, it wasn't really a party, but everyone was there, and it,
indeed, was quite an affair. Just substitute Conrail for Sally. What
happened? Well, you see, there was this Conrail train coming through the
Pittsburgh area around Bloomfield; it was carrying some hazardous chemicals
including, among other things, phosphorus oxychloride, which is quite dangerous.
The train derailed which caused some of the cars to tip over; there was a real
possibility that the phosphorus oxychloride would be released into the
environment. Thus, an evacuation was ordered. The incident took
place on a Saturday--Holy Saturday, as luck would have it. Since I hadn't
been paying attention to the news that day--naughty naughty--I was not aware of
the nature and scope of the problem. (at least for quite awhile that day)
I did hear plenty of sirens, but I didn't think too much of it; after all,
The're often sirened vehicles passing by. If I paid attention to all of
them, I'd go nut so. Anyway, later that evening, a Moorhead Tower resident
told me the situation. She said that tomorrow--Sunday--we'd be evacuated
to the Convention Center as a precaution. Well, at that point, I began
paying more attention to what was going on. As the night wore on, I began
to hear more and more bus traffic, which raised a red flag to me. I began
to wonder if the Convention-Center exodus would happen earlier than was
predicted. I began listening more intently to the news. Yes indeed;
we were going to be evacuated earlier than had been expected. Eventually,
someone pulled the fire alarm, and so I figured it was time to get out.
(All this was happening on Palm Sunday morning at about 4:00 a.m.; what a way to
begin Holy Week, right?) Fortunately, all this was taking place before I had
acquired my first cat, Natalie. I don't know if I would have taken her
with me or not. Ideally, you're not supposed to bring pets to an emergency
shelter, but people do do it. They put people with pets in a separate room
from the other people to avoid allergies, etc. Some of us went out when
the alarm sounded, and some were roused out of bed by a fireman pounding on
their door. Our ever-loving, ebullient, editor and her husband at the time
were two such people. They thought the whole thing was a prank, and so
chose not to leave the building. Oh, well, fortunately, it all worked out
for the best so they didn't get hurt or anything. Well, we all boarded a
bus and were taken to the Convention Center; there, we registered and were taken
to a big room. The first thing they did was to feed us; it was interesting
to have hot dogs at 4:30 a.m. Since this affair happened about twenty
years ago, I don't remember all the details of what went on that day, but I know
we spent a good twelve hours at the Center while they uprighted the overturned
cars and offloaded the dangerous chemicals. Besides not having had my cat
as yet, neither was I on all the medications that I'm on now, s o I didn't have
to worry about that, thank heavens. The whole thing was an orderly
process; there was no yelling or screaming or anything like that; but many of
the people were a bit on edge. I remember that someone circulated a
petition concerning trains with hazardous materials. Since it was Palm
Sunday, there was a Protestant service later that morning; I'm not sure whether
or not there was a Catholic Mass as well. Besides chairs, there were
hammocks in the back of the room where one could lie down if he desired.
They fed us quite well, especially if you liked hot dogs and, perhaps, burgers
as well; I can't quite recall. They had beverages, and I think there might
have been cookies as well. One of our then residents was somewhat
disgruntled over the lack of vegetarian Food options. Incidentally, she's
the same person who told me of the event that previous evening. She has
since moved to Boston where she has gone on to become a social worker and, I
believe, the first blind hypnotherapist in the country. The KDKA news was
broadcast over the Center's PA system; later that day, they switched to the
Pirates Baseball game, which displeased some people because they wanted to keep
abreast of what was going on with the emergency. I got in somewhat of a
snit with her (She, too, was a Moorhead resident.), but she apologized to me; I
could understand her anger and said that there was really nothing to forgive.
As was previously mentioned, they fed us well, except, I guess, the vegetarian
resident who almost had a low blood sugar attack because of the lack of non-meat
protein sources. For me, the time went pretty fast, especially when they
had the prayer service and then turned on the baseball game. Eventually,
early that evening, we were told that we could return home, which brought forth
a multitude of cheers and applause. One guy proclaimed in a loud voice,
"I'm gonna hug my door knob and kiss my bow when I get home." Though
the incident was clearly an accident, much hubbub and furor was generated over
it. One thing that came out of all this was a law imposing speed limits
for trains. The emergency responders did well, and the evacuees were quite
orderly and co-operative, if not somewhat keyed up. Oh, by the way, there
were social workers and counselors "coming out of the woodwork", in
case there were any psychological crises, which there weren't, as far as I'm
aware.
Both nature, and man, can create havoc in our world. Hopefully, the
information I have provided will aid you in any future disasters, whether or not
they are natural or human-generated.
LUTHER's Small Catechism: Part I.
by Bob Mates
At the Pittsburgh Lutheran Center for the Blind, we believe that it is of
primary importance to feed the soul, as well as the body. Of course, we
feed the body with our monthly meals. Our effort to feed the soul,
however, is more multi-pronged. We do it with Bible studies before the
meals, a Vespers after the meals, and of course, with this newsletter.
With the help of our wonderful editor, Terri Winaught, we try to provide you
with a newsletter which edifies, as well as entertains and informs.
To that end, we've decided to start a six-part series, in which we will be
presenting the Small Catechism of Martin Luther.
In case you don't o who Martin Luther (1483-1546) was, he was one of the
pioneers of the Protestant Reformation, and the person for whom our denomination
was named.
martin Luther published his Small Catechism in 1529. It was written to be
used by the heads of households, in educating their family and servants in
religious doctrine. Pastors could also use it, in the religious education
of their people.
Now what is a catechism? Well, here's a good definition, from The Learning
Dictionary:
Catechism
A form of instruction by means of questions and answers.
A book containing a summary of principles, especially of religious
doctrine, reduced to the form of questions and answers.
Luther's Small Catechism is divided into six parts:
1. The Ten Commandments;
2. The Apostles' Creed;
3. The Lord's Prayer, or "Our Father";
4. The sacrament of Holy Baptism; 5. Confession of Sins (the power
of the keys) and
6. The Sacrament of the Altar (the Lord's Supper)
Luther felt that, if you knew these six things, you would have learned the
essentials of the Christian faith.
In this issue, we present part 1, The Ten Commandments. May it bless and
edify you.
Luther's Little Instruction Book: The Small Catechism of Martin Luther
Translation by Robert E. Smith From the German text, printed in:
Triglot Concordia: The Symbolical Books of the Ev. Lutheran Church.
St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1921, pp. 538-559.
Note: This version of the Small Catechism is under continuous revision.
Please check your source for this file from time to time to obtain updated
versions of this text.
Fort Wayne, Indiana: Project Wittenberg, 2004
I. The Ten Commandments The Simple Way a Father Should Present Them
to His Household
The First Commandment
You must not have other gods. (Exodus 20:3)
What does this mean?
We must fear, love, and trust God more than anything else.
The Second Commandment
You must not misuse your God's name. (Exodus 20:7)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will not use His name to curse,
swear, cast a spell, lie or deceive, but will use it to call upon Him, pray to
Him, praise Him and thank Him in all times of trouble.
The Third Commandment
You must keep the Sabbath holy. (Exodus 20:8)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will not look down on preaching or
God's Word, but consider it holy, listen to it willingly, and learn it.
The Fourth Commandment
You must honor your father and mother. [So that things will go well
for you and you will live long on earth]. (Exodus 20:12)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will neither look down on our
parents or superiors nor irritate them, but will honor them, serve them, obey
them, love them and value them.
The Fifth Commandment
You must not kill. (Exodus 20:13)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will neither harm nor hurt our
neighbor's body, but help him and care for him when he is ill.
The Sixth Commandment
You must not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that our words and actions will be clean
and decent and so that everyone will love and honor their spouses.
The Seventh Commandment
You must not steal. (Exodus 20:15)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will neither take our neighbor's
money or property, nor acquire it by fraud or by selling him poorly made
products, but will help him improve and protect his property and career.
The Eighth Commandment
You must not tell lies about your neighbor. (Exodus 20:16 were
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will not deceive by lying,
betraying, slandering or ruining our neighbor's reputation, but will defend him,
say good things about him, and see the best side of everything he does.
The Ninth Commandment
You must not desire your neighbor's house. (Exodus 20:17)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will not attempt to trick our
neighbor out of his inheritance or house, take it by pretending to have a right
to it, etc. but help him to keep and improve it.
The Tenth Commandment
You must not desire your neighbor's wife, servant, maid, animals or
anything that belongs to him. (Exodus 20:17)
What does this mean?
We must fear and love God, so that we will not release our neighbor's
cattle, take his employees from him or seduce his wife, but urge them to stay
and do what they ought to do.
The Conclusion to the Commandments
What does God say to us about all these commandments?
This is what He says: "I am the Lord Your God. I am a jealous
God. I plague the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of those who hate
me with their ancestor's sin. But I make whole those who love me for a
thousand generations." (Exodus 20:5)
What does it mean?
God threatens to punish everyone who breaks these commandments. We
should be afraid of His anger because of this and not violate such commandments.
But He promises grace and all good things to those who keep such commandments.
Because of this, we, too, should love Him, trust Him, and willingly do what His
commandments require.
Devotion
by Bob Mates
Although I won't miss the sultry summer heat that baked Pittsburgh as if it were
in an oven, I sure have missed Bob's wonderful, Bible-based devotions. In
fact, like the psalmist whose soul thirsts for the Lord like dry land thirsts
for rain, so my desire to know the Lord better thirsts for another of Bob's
devotions.
Let's listen to, read, reflect on and learn from another great devotion:
THE LUKEWARM CHRISTIAN
by Bob Mates
Revelation 3:14 "To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are
the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's
creation.
3:15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish
you were either one or the other!
3:16 So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to
spit you out of my mouth.
3:17 You say, I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing;
But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.
3:18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can
become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful
nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
3:19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and
repent.
3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my
voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
3:21 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my
throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.
3:22 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the
churches."
One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member
congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe
in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed,
"Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."
Immediately, the choir fled; the deacons fled; and most of the congregation
fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20. The man who
had spoken took off his hood. He then looked at the preacher and said
"Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites; Now you may begin your
service. And the two men turned and walked out.
Now, I want it understood, that I'm not recommending this method as a test of
faith. I sure hope Pastor --- doesn't decide to adopt it! However, there's
a valid point to this story. The point is that, unfortunately, there are
many lukewarm Christians in the church. And, that's what I want to talk
about: how to keep from becoming lukewarm!
Now, if there is one thing certain about being lukewarm, whether it's a cup of
coffee or a relationship, it is that, as a lukewarm thing, it has virtually no
flavor. Lukewarm coffee or soda is not particularly pleasant; a lukewarm
relationship is pretty much devoid of passion.
Now, if you accept the premise that faith in Christ is a relationship, you can
see why, in our scripture Jesus was so incensed by the Laodicea church's
attitude. It wasn't hot, and it wasn't cold; it was just there. At
least, if it had been cold and hostile, you would have known where the people
were coming from. As it was, it was bland, tasteless, and so, repulsive!
So, what can you do, to keep your walk from becoming lukewarm? Well, as I
alluded to earlier, your walk with Christ is a relationship. Christianity
is more than a head thing, though there's intellect involved. It's a heart
thing; something in your gut! It's more than affirming or assenting to a set of
beliefs; it means living those beliefs out in your everyday life.
The lukewarm Christian may certainly ascent to, or affirm, the existence of
Jesus; the spirit-filled Christian lives his life through Jesus! As Paul says,
in Galatians: to I am crucified with Christ. Therefore, it is no longer I
who live, but Christ, who lives through me.". You may know chapter
and verse of scripture, but can you apply it to your life? That's the difference
between the lukewarm Christian and the spirit-filled Christian. It has
nothing to do with speaking in tongues, but everything to do with speaking the
truth about the love and the grace of God. Instead of being puffed-up, you
get more and more humble! You'll say, as Paul did, that you're the chief of
sinners!
It's the kind of relationship which, once you're in it, won't let you be quiet.
Let's look at Jeremiah Chapter 20, beginning with verse 7, and going through
verse 10.
7. O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art
stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh
me.
8: For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because
the word of the LORD was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily.
9: Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his
name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my
bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. 10: For I
heard the defaming of many, fear on every side. Report, say they, and we
will report it. All my familiars watched for my halting, saying,
Peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall
take our revenge on him.
Now, since we're agreed that a lukewarm relationship with Jesus is one, totally
devoid of passion, let's see how we can inject some oomph back into your walk.
Here are a few passion-builders.
Realize that you're loved, with a love so great and boundless, that God sent His
only Son to die for you! He didn't do this because you were so great and
lovable; He did it, because He loves you, even though, frankly, there's nothing
lovable about any of us! That's what agape love, God's love toward us, is all
about.
Then, you should know that, not only are you loved, but you're forgiven! THIS
doesn't just happen when you come to Christ; he keeps on forgiving us, again,
and again, and again. No matter how often we let Him down, or fall on our
face, 1 John 1.9 says that, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to
forgive us of our sins, and cleanse us of all unrighteousness!
And not only are we loved and forgiven, but we're actually adopted into His
family! We're heirs of God, joint-heirs with Christ!
Are you excited yet? Well, how about this: we're going to live with God forever!
We're His, and there's not a thing that Satan can do about it!
So, there you have it; the key to a good, solid, warm loving relationship with a
loving God. You can have a relationship full of passion and love, or you
can be like the Laodicians, with Jesus' attendant reaction. The choice is
yours.
Amen.
A LITTLE HUMOR ... VERY LITTLE
by Bob Mates
Although our Dashing Director is the primary editor of this column--as
well he should be because he writes it so well--I also like to contribute from
time to time. That being the case, I have several items to contribute this
month, the first of which came to me from good friend, Aimee Yunt, the second of
which came to me from my cousin, Ruthie:
More looks within the English language: 1. A bicycle can't stand
alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition
of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an
arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet
writes inverse. 5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in
feudalism, it's your count that votes. 7. A chicken
crossing the road is poultry in motion. 8. If you don't
pay your exorcist you get repossessed. 9. With her
marriage she got a new name and a dress. 10. Show me a
piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. 11.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 12. The man
who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 13.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. (There are
15 more "looks into English," and they will appear in October's
CENTERPIECE.)
An Irish man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes
upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into
the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns
around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, where upon he asks the
drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk answers, "Yes, I
am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls
him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, Have you found Jesus?" The drunk
replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at the
answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He
again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my
brother?" The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water
again--comb this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up..
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you
found Jesus?" The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to
the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Okay, Terri, those were great! Now, it's my turn, and I start out with one of my
favorites. Enjoy!
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the
window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type,
must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal
Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the
window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and
wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office
manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However,
the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog
jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said,
"I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect
letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it
to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then
told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The
dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter
and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By
this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said,
"I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting
abilities. However, I ininstinin can't give you the job." The dog
jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that
told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said,
"Yes, but the sign ininalinin says that you have to be bilingual".
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow."
IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A
CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST WHERE KIDS Were asked QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD
AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THESE STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY
CHILDREN AND HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR EDITED. Pay special ATTENTION TO
THE WORDING AND SPELLING. 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE,
GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH's WIFE WAS
JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF
FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS,
MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE
HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON
TO STANDSTILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR.
HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA
CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED, THEY FOUND
JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. STILL. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT
ALONE. 20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND
MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS STILL. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A
TAXIMAN.
24. STILL. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY
ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
People were talking in their church pews. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the
front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front
exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone had left the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, AGONY for all
eternity?" insisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little disturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of
me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."
For those of us who like a good "play on words"
Here are the first place winners in the International Pun Contest.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the
other and says, "Dam"!
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire
in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my
electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies
"Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After
about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because",
he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to
a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a
picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she
tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her
husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So,
the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in
town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist
friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
PERSONAL PROFILES
Although my plan was to interview Lois Briggs for this month's column, I
failed to e-mail the questions in a timely manner. That being the case, I
hope to interview Lois in October.
If you are willing to be interviewed for PERSONAL PROFILES, let Bob Mates know
by calling 412-682-1800 or by e-mailing bluesbob at earthlinkddnet.
Remember: The star of this column is you!
BIBLE Bits
There is no better way to strengthen our walk with and love of the Lord
than reading the Bible. By reading, reflecting on, and becoming more
familiar with Scripture, we get to drink the living waters that are Christ's
saving Words.
As regular readers of this column know, I always have a theme around
which I center the verses and questions which follow.
This month's theme is, "What about God's judgment?"
Enjoy this month's drink of the life-giving water that is God's living
Word:
James 2:1-4 1. My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord
Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism.
2. For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and
dressed in fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes,
3. and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine
clothes, and say, "You sit here in a good place," and you say to the
poor man, "You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool,"
4. have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become
judges with evil motives?
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
1. Though the United States is the richest country in the world,
homelessness remains one of our many social problems.
If we see a homeless person--or any person who is dirty and smelly--we
know, intellectually and as Christians, that we should not judge that
person. How easy or hard is this for you? What difference, if any, is
there for you between how you intellectually feel you should respond and how you
actually respond to someone who is dirty and may not smell good?
2. Do you know people you consider to be judgmental? How does being
around judgmental people make you feel?
3. Do you feel that you have ever been unfairly judged? What was
the situation? How did you handle it, and what did you learn from it?
4. When you think of God's judgment, what words, thoughts and
phrases come to mind: For example, do you think of God as a harsh and stern
judge, or do you see him instead as a judge who is sometimes stern but always
merciful?
LOOKING AHEAD
September's meal will take place on Saturday the 24th from 5 to 7 PM,
with a Bible study preceding it from 4:00 to 5.
As already indicated, the menu item is Debra Terhune's wonderful sweet
meatloaf, and seating is limited to the first 25 people who sign up by 6 PM on
Thursday the 22nd. Remember, too, that guests are no longer permitted.
To sign up, or with any questions, call Bob Mates at 412-682-1800 or
e-mail him at bluesbob at earthlinkddnet.
Items in October's newsletter to look forward to are, first, the pro-life
focus that my From The Editor column will have, since October is Respect Life
month. Specifically, I will be sharing some thoughts from Father Frank
Pavone, National Director of Priests for Life, on what he sees as "an
atrophy of compassion" in our society.
Second, the theme around which Bible Bits will focus is, "How sacred does
the Bible say life is?"
Finally, and as already indicated, Lois Briggs will be the brightly shining star
in next month's Personal Profiles so long as she agrees.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
Duquesne University will be conducting a blind touch study until the end of
September.
If you are interesting in participating in this study, designed to compare the
sense of touch between blind and sighted individuals, and you do not have
diabetes or any type of neurological impairment, contact the research lab by
phoning 412-396-4498. Study participants will be paid $30 in Giant Eagle
gift certificates.
As many of you know, fudge sales have been excellent fundraisers for BOLD [Blind
Outdoor Leisure Development). because these sales have been such great
revenue generators, BOLD will be taking orders for 12 flavors of fudge from
October 3rd to November 3rd. What will be different about this fundraiser,
however, is that BOLD will split the proceeds with the Red Cross's hurricane
relief efforts.
To place an order, or for more information, call Terri Winaught at
412-403-1431 or Jane Royal at 412-681-0585.
AN UNUSUAL PRAYER
It was as a little girl at the Overbrook School for the Blind in
Philadelphia, that I was first introduced to the much-loved and familiar
song, "Jesus Loves Me."
Courtesy of my cousin, Ruthie, I have a new version of "Jesus Loves
Me" that those of us in our 40's or more will really be able to relate to,
so read, sing and be delighted by a new twist on an old hymn:
Jesus loves me, this I know, Though my hair is white as snow.
Though my sight is growing dim, Still He bids me trust in Him.
(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS
LOVES ME FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
Though my steps are oh, so slow, With my hand in His I'll go. On
through life, let come what may, He'll be there to lead the way.
(CHORUS)
Though I am no longer young, I have much which He's begun. Let me
serve Christ with a smile, Go with others the extra mile.
(CHORUS)
When the nights are dark and long, In my heart He puts a song.
Telling me in words so clear, "Have no fear, for I am near."
(CHORUS)
When my work on earth is done, And life's victories have been won.
He will take me home above, Then I'll understand His love.
(CHORUS)
I love Jesus, does he know? Have I ever told Him so? Jesus loves to hear
me say, That I love him everyday. (Chorus)
CONGRATULATIONS
We, at the Pittsburgh Lutheran Center for the Blind, wish to congratulate some
newly-married folks: namely, Dee Wilson, who is now Mrs. Paul Spooner,
living in Dallas, Texas, and Terri Watson, who married Jim Winaught, boath of
whom attend our monthly meals. Of course, Terri is also THE CENTERPIECE's
ebullient editor, to quote Kathy Susany. (Two marriages in a summer! Is
this a new fad, or something?) Anyway, our best wishe to all of you! May your
marriages be long, and may Christ be at their center!
PRAYER REQUESTS
With God's help, Place yourself in the frame of mind for prayer by
remembering that you, and those whose intentions follow, were minted, mined,
formed and fashioned in God's unconditional and unending love.
I am including a lengthy prayer first because I think it is a good prayer
with which to start the day.
If you have an intention for Prayer Requests, please don't hesitate to
phone or e-mail Bob Mates.
1. Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my
being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a
forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and
You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was
not pleasing to you.
I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this
day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can
hear from Y.
Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.
And it's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me
strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words
of encouragement for others.
I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for
those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't
know You intimately. I pray for those that don't believe.
But I thank you that I believe.
I believe that God changes people and God changes things.
I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family
member in their households.
I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt
and all their needs are met.
I pray that every eye, ear and hand that reads this knows there is no
problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in
Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the
hearts of and in every eye, ear and hand that reads it, IN THE MATCHLESS
NAME OF JESUS, Amen!!! (The editor added the references to reading with hands
and ears.)
2. For Jesus' gentle hands to heal Jeannie Kaufman of the cancer
she was recently diagnosed with, and for which she has also been hospitalized
several times.
3. Terri Winaught thanks everyone who prayed for her recovery from
stomach problems, and praises the Lord for how much better she has been feeling.
4. May the Lord bless Maggie Fagliano with a complete recovery from
a problem with her neck, and other as yet undiagnosed ailments.
5. Thanks and praise be to God for the Pittsburgh Lutheran Center
for the Blind, Director Bob Mates, Associate Director Sherri Crum, Pastor
Spittel and his family, and all of the dedicated, hardworking volunteers that
make the Lutheran Center the successful ministry that it is.
6. May the Lord comfort any Lutheran Center attendees with friends
or family that have been affected by the current hurricane season, especially
Hurricane Katrina.
7. As Pastor Spittel's children start a new school year, we pray
that they will enjoy another year of successful growing and learning.
8. Blest and Happy Birthdays to everyone with birthdays from June
through September.
9. Through the Lord's abundant goodness and mercy, may those
serving in Iraq and Afghanistan be able to come home soon and safely.
10. Get Well Wishes with the help of God's healing hands to Linda
Terrell who recently suffered a minor heart attack, and was hospitalized in the
beginning of September.
11. May God in His goodness soothe and comfort the mind of one of
Terri Winaught's friends who has been in a psychiatric hospital in Pittsburgh
for more than two months.
12. May Jesus' gentleness bless Milette Reid with a complete and
comfortable recovery from a recent medical procedure.
13. May God's face shine upon and bless a man who had been in Mercy
Hospital but has since been transferred to a nursing home: He faces the daily
struggles with and challenges of LOU Gehrig's disease. Praise the Lord!
for the positive outlook with which this brave man is fighting this disease.
14. A Prayer for the Hurricane Victims: Lord, please
have mercy, On the hurricane victims and their families, Walk with them if you
would, And help them regain their sanity, Don't let the faithless ones doubt
your love, But let them understand your power, And sit beside them during their
uncomfortable rest, Late in the midnight hour, Hear the prayers that we all
speak From all across the Earth Don't let the loss of personal property
Determine their overall worth Bless those who lend a helping hand Albeit prayers
or donations And, Lord please help in guiding those Who are looking for their
loved one's location We believe this is not the world's end Although the
aftermath is dire You already came once with the water We know you will come
back with the fire So as we pray for the best And have hope until the end We
believe our faith is not in vain And we say this in Your name, Amen.
15. A Prayer by Mary Stuart
Keep me, O God, from pettiness.
Let us be large in thought, word, and deed.
Let us be done with fault-finding and leave off self-seeking.
May we put away all pretense and meet each other face to face without self
pity and without prejudice.
May we never be hasty in judgment and always generous.
Let us take time for all things.
Make us grow calm, serene, and gentle.
Teach us to put into action our better impulses and make us straightforward
and unafraid.
Grant that we may realize that it is the little things in life that create
differences, that in the big things we are all one.
And, O Lord God, let us not forget to be kind.
Amen